Reply to Any tips for not resenting a chronically ill DH?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m not mad at him for being sick, but boy am I tired of picking up all the slack.  His defense mechanism is to pretend what I’m doing is not a big deal, which is more infuriating.  The only thing he consistently does is work.  Aside from that I pretty much feel like I am a single parent with a part time babysitter who swoops in when he feels like it.  For example, it’s 8:00 and he is the only person still asleep in our house while I clean and get ready for next week.[/quote]

Is he diagnosed chronically ill like with a condition? Or is he just chronically tired and self diagnosed? [b]Why is he selectively Ok at work but then not OK at home? [/b]Perhaps he needs to hire more help since this is not a good priority.

Either way you need coupled counseling to communicate better and not feel taken advantage of and also whatever he is feeling. 
[/quote]

I have two autoimmunue diseases. Both cause fatigue. One is Crohn's. I am also immunosuppressed due to biologics, so I get frequent viruses and infections on top of the autoimmune disease symptoms.  I work full time as an elementary school teacher which takes about 3 of my 5 spoons for the day. I have to work in order to receive good health benefits. I would 100% prefer to not work and be able to do the majority of the household work. I don't have energy for both. My husband definitely resents it and truly doesn't seem to fully understand how I feel on a day to day basis. I feel guilty about it and used to try to hide how crappy I felt but that didn't do me any good. I have started to try to communicate more so that he better understands what I deal with.

Sometimes when he's being kind of a jerk about it I ask him what he'd prefer. Me to continue working in order to have great medical benefits where my $10,000 biologic infusions I need every 6 weeks are covered except for a $20 copay but I need to rest when I get home from work, or for me to stop working and have energy to do the grocery shopping, cook meals, do the sports practice runs,  clean the house etc but have to be on his extremely high deductible/ high copay medical plan without my salary.

That's a long answer to your question. [/quote]

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