Reply to Any tips for not resenting a chronically ill DH?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have an autoimmune issue, as does my mom. She actually had more than I do, causing her to be chronically sick and just tired all the time. It’s tiring being tired all the time. It SUCKS. A few things. Watching my dad take care of my mom for years while she was in the thick of it all, going to doctors, her laying in bed all day, my sisters and I got to see how hard marriage is. We all picked up where we could to help out more. Depending on how old tour kids are, they can help with things too.

Have you heard of the “spoon theory”? It really helped me understand my mom and then help me explain things to my husband once I was diagnosed. Those who are chronically sick have a certain amount of spoons to use each day, you can’t wash them, you only get 5 spoons a day and you have to figure out how to use them and once they are gone, they are gone. Taking a shower? One spoon. Driving to work? One spoon. Going to work? One spoon. So on and so forth. Others get an unlimited amount of spoons and can wash their spoons as many times as they want whenever they want.

I hope this helps. Maybe on the weekends, he can sleep in until 8 or 9, and have him help out with things. Maybe going to the store or taking the kids to the park so you can get some cleaning done. Can you have groceries delivered so you aren’t adding on to your list of things to do?

I also suggest taking time for your self. Plan a day to have a “you” day, get your hair done, mani and pedi, lunch woth a friend.  [/quote]

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