Reply to If you've been betrayed/cheated on, how do you "get over it"?

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Reply to "If you've been betrayed/cheated on, how do you "get over it"?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi Op, I was cheated on and we repaired the marriage and are doing fine now.  It was a gut punch when it happened but genuine remorse was shown and our marriage had a strong foundation to work from.

My 2 cents:  some people view sexual fidelity as the most important part of a marriage and cheating as a personal attack.  For those, I don't think you can get past it.  They are the most vocal on these boards, and divorced as a result.  You will see terms like abuse and PTSD used.  I am sure its genuine but something I could not relate to.  Like someone said in another post, I was in the "why not me" camp, as in its pretty common, humans are tempted and my spouse broke a promise.

There is also a lot of people like me who see sexual fidelity as one component of a larger picture and something that can evolve with the marriage.  If that's you, the marriage can be renewed and re-negotiated.

You don't need to figure this out now, and you are no better or worse for which camp you are in.  If you think it can be saved, I'd be careful who you tell since many people will be divorce cheerleaders[/quote]

Your experience sounds different than mine but maybe I’m wrong. My SBXH had a two year long affair and his choices were a personal attack. If it were once, I’d agree with the point you made. Not all affairs are equal. [/quote]

Yeah I took it personally being lied to directly and the gaslighting made me feel so horrible...like I was going crazy.

[/quote]

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