Reply to How to nicely communicate that we don't want anyone at the hospital for the delivery?

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Reply to "How to nicely communicate that we don't want anyone at the hospital for the delivery?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi everyone, OP here.  I really appreciate the advice.  I think I need to make sure I am not oversharing.  It's just that my mom is so excited and she wants to know everything - and she's local. I feel bad not telling her, but I need to stop.  My fear if I tell her that we want it to only be us is that she's going to say something like, [b]"Well, when I was giving birth, no one was around to help me, so I don't understand why you wouldn't want all the help you can get," or something like, "Oh, am I not good enough to be there?" [/b] She makes everything about herself.  It's also just difficult since her and my dad don't get along so she doesn't really comprehend the idea that you'd want to share something like this just with your spouse.  It's like that concept does not make sense to her.  But I know that I need to pull back on sharing and purposefully keep things vague.  [/quote]

These kinds of statements are tough and annoying. It boils down to a lack of insight on your mother's part, that a) people can be different and b) that her own daughter might have different preferences than she does.

So, you're going to have to spell some things out:
 
"Mom, I'm making the decision that works best for us in our situation right now, not the situation you were in then."

"Mom, different people have different preferences, remember?"

"Mom, even if you don't understand my preference, I need you to respect it. I'm the one who is going to be giving birth here, so I need you to back off."
[/quote]

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