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[quote=Anonymous]I suspect your wife is being a bit passive aggressive. Has she been reluctant to visit your parents in the past? If not, they this perhapbs was just bad planning. Was this the only weekend her friend could be free? 
I like to give people the benefit of the doubt when possible. 
That being said. I do think she should have said "I am planning a weekend with the kids and my friend to visit my parents. Does teh 27th work for us?"
She didn't so that is an issue and you should calmly ask why she didn't ask if the weekend worked for the family? 
But you also have a much larger issue which is the way your family treats you. You just seem to think their demands are something you should bend to and they are not. 
If you mother wants to celebrate your dad's birthday the adult thing to do is to set up a time to celebrate it. This is especially true when it falls on a weekday. She didnt. Not only did she not invite you, she disinvited you for one of the key days! 
Perhaps your wife is sick of being a 2nd class citizen in your mom's eyes and has had enough. YOu have the right to have enough of her family as well.

I don't believe that married people need to do every single thing together when it causes them stress, anxiety and some family does not treat them well. This is not Xmas she planned over, it is your adult dad's birthday. (very few adults expect other grown adults to drop everything to celebrate their birthdays).

Talk with you wife, Let her know if the future it would mean a lot to you if she went to your dad's party and you promise to get some plans made with your mom well in advance so everyone knows what is going on and when.

You appear to be blaming your wife for everything and that is just not fair. [/quote]

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