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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=vtbigdog]OK, I need some help on this...

My father's birthday weekend is usually around the 29th and it is the one time we usually book out to visit them on a regular basis (usually just a day trip). We do not do much with my family and do a lot with her family.

My wife goes ahead and invites her friend to go to her parent's house for that weekend without asking me. It is the weekend we usually go to my parents for a day to celebrate my dad's birthday. However, [b]my mom never plans this out with us and expects us to automatically show up. [/b]Since my bother is the golden child and will be there (everything revolves around him and his plans) I am expected to be there. My mom never asks will it work for us, but if it works my brother I am suppose to drop everything and show up. After basically not inviting us to show up on Saturday because they want to head out early for a special spot on the lake and need to get a mooring, my mom expects us to show up for all of Sunday.

My wife on the other hand invited her friend for the entire weekend to her parents' house and now I am stuck negotiating between both of them. The houses are 45 minutes apart. If I did not have kids, I would say screw it and go fishing in another 100s of miles away.

Any thoughts on how to handle this?  :roll: [/quote]

Didn't you do exactly this with your wife?  You didn't make plans (for a birthday on a year where it's not clear which weekend will be the celebratory weekend), you just expected her to show up.

If there are parts of your schedule that are important to you, then you need to speak up like an adult.  And that includes to your wife and your mom.  [/quote]

This.  Be an adult, take the initiative, and work out a plan.  Your dad, your responsibility.

Passive, immature, and avoidant behavior like this may be why your brother, not you, is the golden boy.[/quote]

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