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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here: All I do is ask questions. I listen. I don’t point and I want him to come to me first. But part of me wants to help him understand but I’m not sure how until he opens his eyes. [/quote]

You want him to understand that he is the victim of racism when he feels that he has not been the victim of racism.  And you're frustrated by that.  [/quote]

Because he has been and probably is in his current everyday living  and he can’t see it. His own MIL not accepting him for years is an example. He really thought it was because of his job or his personality-until it came to light that it was due to his race. What don’t you get about that? [/quote]

Hmm. Look at the family forum. There are plenty of people who have terrible relationship with inlaws (from both sides) and race has nothing to do with it. Then the OP even admits her nephew now has a good relationship with his MIL, so what's the problem?

The young man seems capable enough of living his own life and all I see is the OP projecting her own problems and issues on him. The OP, like some people, apparently sees *everything* through the prism of racism even if in many cases it may very well have nothing to do with race. The sad thing about today's angry world is how many people continue to believe everything must be attributed to racism as if it is somehow different form the whole range of human interaction and judgment that are just as discriminatory but wholly ignore it while portraying race as the sole evil.

If the young man feels he living a good life and is happy, then what is the problem? It sounds like OP is upset because her nephew isn't as angry and judgmental as she is. [/quote]

OP here: Can’t you read ? The MIL flat out admitted it was her bigotry. Why can’t you read between the lines that it wasn’t my guess, it was her admitting this. That’s  why she had hostility all those years. It wasn’t an assumption. Of course he forgave her. He isn’t going to hold it against her. But that is why I want to help him see if wasn’t the first time nor will it be the last time he will face issues because of his race. You sound like another racism denier. [/quote]

You sound like the equivalent of mansplaining but for race. So he now knows that racism has affected his life in one way. Ok. But if he doesn’t feel it’s affected him in other ways, who are you to tell him otherwise?

I am Jewish and female. I have never, to my knowledge, experienced sexism or antisemitism in my 16 years in the workplace. I obviously know others do but if you tri d to convince me I had experienced them personally, without firsthand knowledge, I wouldn’t be too inclined to appreciate it either. My individual experience may be different from what statistics might predict and you don’t know my reality. So too with your nephew. If he has a problem or a question he can come to you.  Othwerwise you have no business trying to explain to a grown man that he is wrong about his own life. [/quote]

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