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[quote=Anonymous]We have 3 too, without any special needs, and it is hard when they are little. OUrs are little too. We both work full-time, so it is a different dynamic for us, but I recently had some conversaations with my husband saying that I can't do all that I am doing. We are even in couples therapy just for maintainence (no big issue) where we talk about division of labor and the mental load I carry that he doens't. I suffer, like your wife does, of figureing out what to let go and how.  From your list of tasks, the soccer coordination has to go from your wife's plate. Has to. Then you all need to sit down together and list out every single thing that is on the list to see what she can let go. For me, it is truly hard to let things go bc often, in order to give it to my DH, I will have to explicitely explain what needs to be done and when. It is easier to just do it myself. But, when we sat down to list all the stuff that is on our list, there were things I could let go:  all meal prep - lunches/breakfasts included. He gets up in the morning, gets  breakfast ready and all children ready, and then I come out. He does all insurance wrangling, all car care stuff, all dog care stuff, all retirement account stuff, and he makes all doctor's appointments. He handles everything when his family visits. He handles baths. The biggest help for me - and likely your wife - is to take it off the mental list. It is not helpful if I have to remind you, coach you, remind you to do the task. That is more work for me and easier just to do it myself. You must own it, and it must be so automatic that I don't even think about it every bc it is just done. You are doing great, OP. This is a hard stage. [/quote]

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