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Expectant and Postpartum Moms
Reply to "How do I get through my husband's thick skull..."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are probably making it all look easy so your DH interrupts this as "Oh, DW is great. Sure, come on over". I was you OP. I had a newborn, 2 yr, and 4 yr old underfoot. I was a hot mess, but I pulled it off somehow. I didn't reveal my feelings, I put on a happy face for my 2 and 4 yr olds, somehow didn't miss a beat in their routine, kept the newborn alive and happy, the house was presentable, etc. Inside myself, though, I fell apart. It didn't help that post partum hormones were making more emotional than usual. Looking back, I don't even know how I did it. [/quote] Thank you and to everyone else for their replies. I cried myself to sleep last night. He had to have known I was mad but didn't say anything after the toddler went to bed. I am 5 months pregnant now. The other day we got into a fight and instead of trying to dissolve the fight, he escalated it. I can't keep doing this with him. I will stay with him for my kids but not forever. [/quote] NP here. I really hate the "pregnancy makes you hormonal and irrational" explanation, but it's true to some extent. You are describing a very common scenario that happened during my second pregnancy. I think in addition to being physically exhausted I was way more emotionally volatile, including compared to my first pregnancy. That part, that each pregnancy impacts you differently, men DO NOT GET. What helped for me was to pull DH aside and talk to him about it during a calm moment (not when I was really upset or we were arguing). I was seriously wondering if I might have mild pregnancy related anxiety or depression, but I also just wanted him to realize that I was generally going through a lot physically and emotionally and I needed him to be gentler with me. The reality is that pregnancy can be awful for a host of reasons for a lot of people...and there aren't a lot of narratives to support that. For the most part, pregnancy is talked about as this wonderful, magical experience. My pregnancies came after years of IF treatments and losses, so you might have expected me to just be grateful. But they were really, really, really hard on me. And simply being honest about that to myself, and then DH, helped make things much better.[/quote]
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