Reply to Ex wants to move out of state-- what are the questions to ask and pitfalls to avoid?

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Reply to "Ex wants to move out of state-- what are the questions to ask and pitfalls to avoid?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] How is it fair to the OP or the child that [b]Dad chooses to move away[/b] from his kid and take on even less day to day responsibility for his child? And this is the Dad's choice in this case. It is not a "I have to move because I'll lose my job." or "I am in the military and I have to move." This is "I want to move because I like state X better. Dad is choosing to leave his kid behind.

So Mom is suppose to give up the more relaxed down time that comes on long weekends and vacation times because Dad has chosen to move away from his child? So the kid is required to give up relaxed time with friends and maybe activities he likes because his father choose to move away?

Maybe if Dad wants to spend time with his child, Dad should stay put. That way he would see his child more then 4 weeks out of 52.

Or you could blame the Mom and the kid for Dad having less time with the kid because Mom is being unreasonable in wanting to have some of that more relaxed time with her kid who she is taking care of 24/7, you know, parenting. The job both people signed up for and the Dad is moving away from. [/quote]

You kind, considerate, open-minded people aren't considering that maybe "Dad" has a job (an income, etc) whose location is moving him elsewhere.  He can (a) stay put and earn zero while he finds a new job, and maybe not as good of a job; or (b) move and get on with his life and still be able to be a financially supportive father.

This stuff happens all the time, nothing here is new.  The minor is soon to not be a minor anymore, anyway.  Blink and s/he will be 18.

They got divorced, it sucks.  When two people are no longer a married couple this is always a possibility.  I dont think there is any divorce document that can physically prevent someone from moving.   People move, all the time.  [/quote]

I see that you missed the following post from the OP:

[quote] OP again. Does it change anyone's advice that the move is 100% Ex's choice? For years, he claimed he wasn't going anywhere until ds graduated high school. He admits that he doesn't have to move now, he just wants to.

I'm not against anyone living their "best life," but (as usual), Ex's improvements to his life make my life and our kid's life harder. [/quote]

Dad is moving because Dad wants to, not because Dad has to. Dad had been saying he was going to stay in the area until the child graduated from high school but now Dad wants to move.

And divorce can prevent people from moving. My Brother wanted to move to a bordering state but wasn't able to because it violated the divorce agreement. He would have been able to see the kids, the time to get to him would have been the same, but if he moved he would have lost custody. Now, I am not a divorce attorney and I have no idea if he had an awful divorce attorney but divorce can prevent you from moving.

In this case, Dad is moving because Dad wants to and expects that his ex will just send his child to him for vacations. Woohoooo[/quote]

The difference Mom has custody not Dad.  Mom cannot just up and move, but Dad can.  If OP doesn't want the responsibility, she can send kid to live with Dad.  Or, stop complaining.  If Dad wants to move, that's ok.  If Mom wants to move and can continue the same level of contact, that should be allowed too.  If Dad is barely involved, what difference does it make where he lives.[/quote]

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