Reply to Ex wants to move out of state-- what are the questions to ask and pitfalls to avoid?

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Reply to "Ex wants to move out of state-- what are the questions to ask and pitfalls to avoid?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He's moving, how is this screwing you over.  Its fine for him to move.  Let him have holidays and summers and since he is moving, he pays for transportation and making arrangements.  [/quote]
Please go away. - new poster[/quote]

Another new poster and I agree with poster you are telling to go away.  It sounds to me that her ex had an excellent plan.  OP does not own her ex and it is easy to see why she has an ex![/quote]

:roll:  This is OP. You are so ridiculous I can't even be offended.

My ex has indeed shafted me and our kid in huge and small ways for years, which I'm not going to go into because I'm not actually here for drama. He already gets to be the "fun parent" while I take care of the actual parenting. When he moves, I'll be handling 100% of the school conferences, pickups from extracurriculars, etc., and will have no regular "kid free" nights. That's fine, but I don't want to lose most of my fun/relaxed time (summer and holidays) with ds.  I'm not trying to control Ex, I'm trying to protect me and my kid by getting advice. Thanks to everyone who actually provided tips and perspective![/quote]

OP you don't have to justify yourself. I get EXACTLY what you're saying.  My ex is the same way. He gets to be the fun parent when he feels like it and does none of the parenting stuff (school, doctors, homework, etc.)

I would tell him that he can have DS a couple of weeks in the summer, half or alternating holidays and pays for all travel.

If he doesn't like it, tell him to stay put.  I would never move that far from my kid.  Period. [/quote]

I agree, but he should get half of summer break, not just a few weeks. Maybe 2/3's, but start negotiating with half of summer break. [/quote]

How are 1/2's fair. That means he gets maybe 4 weeks out of 52.[/quote]

How is it fair to the OP or the child that Dad chooses to move away from his kid and take on even less day to day responsibility for his child? And this is the Dad's choice in this case. It is not a "I have to move because I'll lose my job." or "I am in the military and I have to move." This is "I want to move because I like state X better. Dad is choosing to leave his kid behind.

So Mom is suppose to give up the more relaxed down time that comes on long weekends and vacation times because Dad has chosen to move away from his child? So the kid is required to give up relaxed time with friends and maybe activities he likes because his father choose to move away?

Maybe if Dad wants to spend time with his child, Dad should stay put. That way he would see his child more then 4 weeks out of 52.

Or you could blame the Mom and the kid for Dad having less time with the kid because Mom is being unreasonable in wanting to have some of that more relaxed time with her kid who she is taking care of 24/7, you know, parenting. The job both people signed up for and the Dad is moving away from. [/quote]

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