Reply to Wife had Affair with Coworker

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m sorry, OP. Is she remorseful? How long did the affair go on? What caused you to suspect it?

It’s great that you are committed to keeping your family together but your wife should have some awareness that she could lose everything if she doesn’t get her s**t together; she needs to be as invested as you and take steps like  finding another job ASAP.

You mentioned that she is “willing” to go to therapy with you but that sounds a bit passive to me; she needs to be proactive in taking the steps to repair things. The fact that you aren’t even thinking of a separation might cause her to feel more comfortable than she should.

Was (is) the affair also emotional? Was she ever considering lesving your marriage?[/quote]

Yes she seems remorseful.  The connection was made 5 years ago but the relationship became inappropriate 3 years ago.  I had suspected it for sometime (2 + years) based on gut instinct, relationship withdraw, lack of intimacy... Faced with my own insecurities and wanting to not rock the boat for the family I never went looking.  Once I went looking, it was not hard to connect the dots.

Yes the affair was emotional.  Yes she had considered leaving.  I think the fact that the affair partner was/is also married complicated matters.[/quote]

Oh the affair wasn’t even physical?? Ugh never mind. I think the emotional affair thing is so murky. [/quote]

It was physical too[/quote]

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