Reply to What do you do when none of the men you met want a "serious relationship"?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What do you do when none of the men you met want a "serious relationship"? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Is she asking your advice?  Doesn't seem like it.[/b]

If she wants a serious relationship she'll find guys who do.  There are plenty out there, especially at her age.  In all honesty I am much more concerned about my relatives who "met the one" in their teens (a cousin is getting married this week in the summer before her senior year at college to the only boyfriend she's ever had) than someone who dates casually through their twenties.

[/quote]

My advice? No because I obviously have none. But she was definitely venting that she'll meet a great guy who has a lot going for him and who wants to hang out in a way that I would have qualified as boyfriend/girlfriend. But he doesn't want to be "exclusive" (even if they are spending all their time together so they are exclusive - he just doesn't want to close out the possibility of meeting someone even better) and he doesn't want to mislead her that it might lead to marriage because he won't be ready to settle down for years yet.

[/quote]

To add to this, she says it's frustrating because this is all the great men she and her friends meet. Her friends will try to make something of this type of arrangement ("cool girl" syndrome she called it) and it almost never works.

What I'm saying is, it must be soooo frustrating because it's like the men have all the power in this scenario because they are withholding. [/quote]

eh, it sounds like one of two things 1) she is going for men who are out of her league and she needs to set her sights on someone less "perfect"  [u]2)  she is really not that interested in dealing with a long term commitment but wants to be perceived as a "good girl" even though what she really likes is new sex and the thrill of the hunt.[/u]

She might even be a combo of the two.[/quote]

This is a good comment.  OP I dated casually through my twenties but if a relative who settled down at 19 asked me about my relationship status (trying to live some SATC fantasy vicariously) I would probably make noises about how it's fun to date but I wish I could find "the one" even though that's not actually what I was looking for at the time.  Easier than the conversation about how I'm living and enjoying a very different life than you have NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH YOUR LIFE, or you listening to me talk about various different dates and then leaving the conversation thinking (/telling people) that I'm slutty or have no morals.

"I'm meeting great guys but no one that wants to settle down" is honest while still making you feel like she's the same type of girl you are, in a different situation.  Look how mad you are at these guys you've never met - she was right to direct that judgment away from herself.[/quote]

OP here. Yeah I have to say, you're totally projecting. This is not the conversation we had. You're imagining things based on judgement you may have felt in your own life.[/quote]

Op, I never bothered much with the "good girl" act but I know a lot of women that did.  You are convinced that "ALL" men are commitment phobes but the common denominator is this young woman...[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics