Reply to I don't know how to be a good wife

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]He needs praise that I think he's smart, that he is good at his job and such. The flip to this is that he also finds giving me praise very hard. It feels like he holds a deep insecurity, and I feel emotionally burdened to stroke this insecurity regularly. [/quote]

Stop. Seriously, you don't have to do that. "I can't keep reassuring you about this. Maybe it would help you to talk to a therapist." But then you can't do the work of finding one for him or making him go, he has to decide if he wants to work on it. I think you need some emotional distance here, and that if you get that, you'll have an easier time being patient, but also setting boundaries. Maybe he solves this, maybe he doesn't, but you can't hold yourself responsible for his sense of self and emotional state because, as you can see, it's not working. Cultivate relationships with friends and family. Do physical activities you enjoy. If you don't feel safe driving with him in rainy weather, avoid it, even if that means you're doing less stuff with him. Don't let yourself be dragged into arguments about why and don't be insulting, just say that in the past you've had disagreements where you haven't felt safe, and so you think the best thing for both of you is avoid that situation. [/quote]

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