Reply to I don't know how to be a good wife

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. To respond to some points.....his parents relationship is horrible, and we have tried therapy multiple times.

The things I'm noticing are things he has both said, "I need you to just shut up sometimes", and things he acts out (praise issue). The praise is not for things like taking out the trash. I praise those behaviors a lot. He needs praise that I think he's smart, that he is good at his job and such. The flip to this is that he also finds giving me praise very hard. It feels like he holds a deep insecurity, and I feel emotionally burdened to stroke this insecurity regularly.

Examples of things I'm supposed to shut up about would be something like, not saying something if he is speeding in rainy weather. For context, we were in a car accident because of his driving so I feel nervous in the car with him. Or if we are in a disagreement he will say,"I need you to just shut up".

I imagine these are the types of things people just suck up. For some reason I just can't.[/quote]

He needs to say whatever he needs at the moment WITHOUT the rude, disrespectful word, “shut up.”   Full stop. No more anyone saying Shut Up. Or name calling. Stop and think of another phrase to make your point. Solve problems as a team, not personal attacks and avoid addressing an issue.[/quote]

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