Reply to My husband just doesn’t get it. Barely engages with 8 week old.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not understanding what you want from him. I have three kids.   Newborns sleep a large portion of the day.  You should have a chance during the day jump in the shower.  Are you not putting the baby down all day?  If that is the case, then yes you are creating a problem.  He shouldn’t need to hold the baby the second he walks in the door (unless he wants to).  Put the baby in a low reclining bouncer (Bjorne makes a great one that an 8 wk old can go in)  or bassinet while you cook.  If you are in the middle of something, then ask him to pick him up.

I would never expect my husband to get up with the baby at night.  He has a job that would be extremely dangerous to him and others if he is tired, plus he doesn’t get to nap if he needs to.   You can nap when the baby naps.  Unless you are working full time and formula feeding, it make no sense for him to wake up at night too.

All newborns do is eat, sleep, and want to snuggle their mom.  What do want him to do to “engage” besides occasional holding and diaper changing?  If you are struggling have him help in other ways like cooking and cleaning.  But newborns and moms are meant to be together and expecting a dad is going to 50% of newborn care just isn’t realistic.  Sure dads are capable in in some circumstances need to and can provide full great care for a newborn, but the most natural thing and what a newborn wants is its mother.  [/quote]

“All newborns do is eat, sleep, and want to snuggle their mom”- Holy crap what sanctimonious BS. Ummmmmm you forgot CRY. Some babies are inconsolable from birth- one of mine cried from the get go. They wouldn’t even let him spend the night in the hospital nursery because he was disturbing the other babies. EAT- some babies want to nurse constantly and mom never gets a break,24-7. SLEEP- some babies only sleep when they’re on the boob, or being held, and will immediately wake up when put down.  And then they’ll CRY. You sound like you had three easy babies, PP- I had the three above. Have some compassion and welcome to the year 2019 where dads are expected to do their fair share. Good luck, OP- sorry you’re having to do so much solo.[/quote]

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