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[quote=Anonymous]My children are 21 and 18.  My husband was hands on from day one.  Our first child had a very serious birth defect and both of us were equally terrified when we finally got home from the NICU with training on all of the equipment that came home with us.
DH has a job that earns more than mine (I teach) and has longer hours a rough commute away so most weekdays and school but non federal holidays, I was the activity taxi and hands on caregiver.  I also had the most input for IEPs (one area where he felt my education and expertise were superior to his - pedegogy vs computer skills)
On weekends and bedtimes, he got lots of kid time. There were phases when Dad was the preferred parent and he definitely had far more patience for the homework battles and playtime (Legos, Thomas, learning to catch...)  He definitely knew which shoes were whose, which drawer clothes went in (he did a lot of folding and putting away)  
If we want to go further back, my Dad was great with infants - feeding, changing, holding but harsh with older kids - but so was my Mom.  Neither of my parents were helicopters or lawnmowers so my siblings and rarely played with either Mom or Dad.  Mom stayed home during the week when we were very small, but started working when my youger siblings were in school full time and Dad was on deck for weekends and any evening my Mom was running later.  He was perfectly capable of keeping up the house when my Mom was away (cooking, cleaning, driving to and from activities) He absolutely knew where and when to get which kid (usually was more reliably punctual than Mom) Both attended concerts and athletic events.
I hear about these adult manchildren that are married with kids, but I wonder why?  Were they just really that fun to date and women thought that they would suddenly change into responsible adults?  DH and I sometimes disagree on details, but then my sisters and I disagree on many more points on child raising so I chalk that up to different styles and having to negotiate with each other.

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