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[quote=Anonymous]I don’t think you are being a bridezilla or appear to be needy or high maintenance. Although I’m a mother so far of only daughters getting married my friends group is a mix. I think it’s VERY common now for the groom’s mother to be included in what’s being chosen for the wedding and my friends with sons are happy to included but they also act with a deference the choices of the bride & her family as its still the rare wedding where the groom’s family pays a share anywhere close to the bride’s side (although most weddings in my friends group are largely paid for by the couple.)

My oldest daughter shared some of the details in planning the wedding w/her in-laws (who did not pay for any part of the wedding/rehearsal etc BUT they are of modest means and my DD and SIL presented wedding as if they paid for all.) Her now MIL acknowledged but wasn’t an active participant. My DD getting married in a month has opened up to her future MIL and she’s been pretty involved and enjoying process. She and I are very much in sync that this is our ‘kids’ wedding and we show enthusiasm for their choices and give opinions if they seem genuinely requested.

You future MIL may be shy/insecure or displeased. Keep doing what you’re doing and let her find her role in this herself. (The celebratory lunch expectation of only her son was the weirdest thing you listed but let it go!)[/quote]

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