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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PPs have nailed it so just want to add: When they rebel, it makes you think you did not do a good job of translating your values.   It's hard to listen to them dismiss things you've tried to instill in them.

And something else:  the culture is against you.  The culture is trying to cultivate a consumer.  So to get that consumer, they encourage short term decisions vs. long term investment.  The culture is "you'll be happy if you engage in sex, drugs, shopping, basically you'll be happy by INDULGING, and you will be all alone and scorned if you don't go with the herd."  It's designed with their developmental stage in mind.  It's rough.

And basically you lose a lot of control.  You can't just sign them up for a tennis class and expect them to go.  You can't physically restrain them...you can't do really anything but hope that they will make good choices when they are doing things without your supervision.

And you have to come to terms with that the kid you have is not the kid you envisioned.  Example:  The athlete's son hates sports, or is uncoordinated, or likes acting instead.  My friend, who is a doctor, had to wrap her head around the fact that her kid sucks at math, which is my friend's strong point.  I love to hike and I've got one teen that will spend zero time outdoors, and I live in a state with beautiful weather.  You want to give your kid your values, and you assume your kid will inherit your talents, and then you have to recognize them as someone unique from your dreams and wishes.  It's a weaning process, and weaning takes years and involves both sides.[/quote]

Amazing post [/quote]

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