Reply to S/O is it unfair for grandparents to help with one set of grandkids and not the other?

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Reply to "S/O is it unfair for grandparents to help with one set of grandkids and not the other?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Spin off from the thread about how someone’s DH seems to be a bit resentful that his sister is getting full time babysitting from ILs while he may not get as much help as a result. I think about this a lot as my MIL is providing free child care to SIL and BIL who have the money but since we will have kids later, we will be lower on the list for help and we will shell out the full cost for daycare though objectively we need the help more (I’m in intense grad school program so just one income and my family leaves far away so no help from them while SIL has both sides helping). On one hand I feel like it’s my responsibility but it does stink that the first person to have a baby essentially gets the grandparents and the bonding relationship. Has this happened to anyone else? Should grandparents try to be “fair” with how they take care of grandkids?
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So if MIL will be too old when you have kids, she should decline to give free childcare to BIL/SIL now because ‘fairness’?

Point is, of course these variations happen in the natural course of life. [/quote]

Op here they won’t be much older as we plan on having kids next year. I totally agree with everyone that you can’t expect it but it still hurts to not have help and save all our pennies when BIL buys more cars with the money he is saving with no child care [/quote]I can understand being hurt if you don't get the same amount of help but, OP, what makes you so sure that the grandparents won't try to equitably spend their time with both sets of grandchildren? You seem to be in a hurry to feel hurt over something that hasn't happened yet.  Or are you complaining that you will never have the opportunity for your child to be the only set of grandkids like your ILs did?  If so, you know, life sucks.  Things happen in an order which doesn't suit you but it could have gone the other way if you had had kids first and then your ILs would be suffering. Deal with it.[/quote]

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