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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, there are many ways to be a parent. This is definitely a very hard stage but it sounds like you are resentful of other things. It’s OK not to be a SAHM if you prefer to work. Your kids need you to be happy and to embrace your life — it’s how they will later on figure out how to do the same.

On your specific points, yes, the lifestyle shift is intense. However as someone who has traveled all over the world and have always done the work I am passionate about, I still feel that none of that matches the happiness of kids. My partner feels the same. After a while, every fancy restaurant is the same and every foreign city nice for a few days. But what is the meaning of it? I’m not saying you have to find meaning in the unending round of tasks that goes with a baby and toddler. But times with my kids have been the most meaningful.

If you can find a way to care for them without resentment, even if that means sharing their care with others, I would do it. It is high burnout work, just like many other kinds of meaningful work. This forum is support for other parents for a reason... the caregiver has to care for themselves. Do not let your anger about this resign you to a life you don’t want and your kids to an unhappy mother. I grew up like that and believe me it’s not easy for the kids.[/quote]

PS in case it wasn’t clear... I am WOHM and actually traveling now for work in one of those cities. My life is different than it used to be but I still have other parts of my identity and it feels like you want that too. FWIW I didn’t travel abroad or go for more than two nights when my kids were the age of yours. However the youngest is now 2.5 so things have gotten a bit easier. Hang in there — [/quote]

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