Reply to s/o Why so much delusion by parents of adult kids around "big happy family get togethers"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They would go just fine if everyone who attends did the following:
1) make your own accommodations -or accept whatever you get
2) it's not about you, you are doing this for your parents and children not for yourself - deal with it for a few days
3) three days max 
4) if you and/or your children have dietary needs, it's your responsibility to ensure they are met
5) no pets - as in guests do not get to bring pets
6)it's ok for you and others to not partake in every activity 
7) feel free to quietly slip away and take time to yourself but do not leave your children for others to care for
8) it's not your house, your rules - whatever they may be-do not apply
9) your not on vacation, get up and help

That's just the basics but it goes a long way

[/quote]

None of that even sounds remotely fun. I don't understand why people go to vacation homes? I can't imagine sitting in a beach house, cooking and cleaning- can't you just do that at home (minus the beach)?

We vacation with my parents but we mostly go to big cities, national parks or do touristy things. I'm an only child though and [b]everything is focused around my baby and toddler. [/b]We're together the entire time, but have separate hotel rooms. It's really enjoyable.

With inlaws we're the only ones who have kids and everything is tailored to DH's younger siblings and MIL/FIL. Kids melt down all over the place and typically hate the trips. DH's siblings can't imagine waking up at 9am for breakfast but are upset when we eat before them. Everything is just hard, particularly on me. I'm the one pushing the stroller around with sleeping kids during nap times while everyone else eats or does fun things. [/quote]

So, this is why it doesn’t work for you, because it’s not all about you and your needs (in this case as your needs relate to your children) see Rule #2 above and rule #6. See how simple this is.[/quote]

Different poster here.  In my situation, we don't like going with the IL's because basically, they act like only on set of grandchildren exist.  It is the same children that belong to the needy SIL, so the pattern is established already. When other grandchildren came into the picture, they and their few basic needs were essentially ignored, and after a number fo years of this, now the majority of the grandchildren see what is happening.  It is hurtful behavior, and they have a better time with both the other side of the family (including cousins their own age), and their own nuclear family.  Besides, vacation time is very limited.  [/quote]

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