Reply to Gender Non-Conforming Boy - Looking for Resources Not Your Opinions Or Judgment

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[quote=Anonymous]Speaking from ***my personal family experience,*** in case it is any way helpful to OP.

My brother is gay. He has no desire to be a woman, but likes "girly things" and even likes dressing in drag sometimes. But he is a man, he identifies as male, he doesn't want to be a woman or identify as female.

He's a man, he's gay, he likes girly things. Those are all true things about him, and none of them cancel each other out.

My brother came out to my parents when he was 25. They have been accepting, loving and enthusiastic about his long-term boyfriend. Overall, his coming out has been good for my family.

HOWEVER, he does resent the fact that my parents didn't recognize that he was gay when he was a kid/teen. He knows they suspected it, and he deeply resents that they never talked to him about it.

Their view is that they didn't want to push or label him, and that they wanted him to define himself in any way he wanted to. His view is that they were hiding from it, they made it all a secret and confusing, they didn't offer him any opportunities to talk about it or talk through it or start to learn about anything outside of their heteronormative world.

This is food for thought, OP. That he might someday expect you to have taken a lead with a "gay is 'a thing' and it's fine" conversation.

My personal, lived experience can't be argued with, so don't.[/quote]

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