Reply to Husbands and parenting...why is this so hard??

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok, yes. This is OP. I’ve tried to be better about this and in fact, we went on a date together last weekend (not just a couple days ago but the previous weekend). I guess my issue also is that I’m wondering how this is going to improve his general malaise and dislike of active parenting. I will absolutely work on giving him more attention but I guess I need to adjust my expectations of his role as a dad. My fear is that he is going to end up like his dad, who was always emotionally distant and totally uninvolved and now has never even met his grandkids. 
I think hearing from some of the Pp’s that can relate to his feelings eases this fear somewhat, so thank you. 
Honestly, it goes without saying but is worth repeating: I am dead tired by the end of the day. Anyone with young kids knows this feeling! I need to figure out how to care more about spending time with DH when that’s not my “love language” (as it is his). [/quote]

Well, what ARE your expectations of him as a dad? I was the first poster to call out the issue in your marriage as being separate from the parenting issue. My husband is most comfortable when we are doing kid stuff together. Can you just ask your husband what sorts of things he wants to do with the kids? For example, it's summer now, and my husband, who will never volunteer to change a poopy diaper or manage a bedtime, will run our toddler ragged at the pool all day Saturday and Sunday while I read novels on the side of the pool. What kinds of stuff does your husband want to do? You've mentioned the things he doesn't enjoy (pretend play, logistics) but that's not all parenting is.[/quote]

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