Reply to How to have "the talk"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I suspect you'll get a lot of suggestions about what you're doing wrong and what you should say or shouldn't say or how to say it.

What you probably won't get is many (if any) real life examples of, "we had a talk, and it led to positive changes." People often think this is something that married couples ought to be able to communicate about productively. But the reality is that productive conversations about sexual desire are pretty rare in the real world. [/quote]

OP here, this is what I take away - there is no way to talk this out that leads to positive change.  To answer other questions, I am in good shape, so is she, she is SAHM, kids are 11 and 13 so in school all day.  We use toys when we do it, she finishes.

I do get female attention, she sees it, not really the jealous kind.

Perhaps sex 2-4 times a month is as good as it gets.  I will admit I am amazed she never offers anything in between since she knows I crave it.  [/quote]

It was stated earlier in the thread. Women believe the amount of sex they want is the proper amount for the marriage. It doesn't matter if they are high drive or low drive. They amount they want is the right amount[/quote]

DW here. We don't have sex nearly often enough for him. But here's the thing - its a fairly miserable experience for me. He (although an amazing partner is most ways) really isn't good at it. It's a chore and one that is often unpleasant. If we had great sex, maybe the threshold would be different. But as it is it feels like "one more thing" I have to do for him. So you can imagine my motivation isn't fantastic. What would you suggest in this situation.[/quote]
This relationship should not gone past the 4th date. Shame on him for not being "good at it" but shame on you for marrying him! Divorce and find somebody who you are sexually compatible with. [/quote]

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