Reply to Husband said I was a monster last night

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And yelled at me and went to sleep in the living room.

It started because he came home late after hanging out with his family and said he wishes he could be himself around me and that I am too serious and practical. He doesn’t feel respected or liked.

***Here you could do a couple of things.  If he was sober and alert, you could say, I'd like to hear more about what I do that causes you to feel that way.  If he was too wiped out to have a serious conversation, you could say, I'm sorry you feel that way.  We can talk more tomorrow.

I told him that’s not true and that of course I like him very much.

*** Not your intention, I know, but you've basically just cut him off and told him to shut up.

He said no you don’t.

*** He's not explaining himself.  He's shutting down the conversation, too.

I started crying. He turned around from me in bed and tried to go to sleep. I judged him awake saying he can’t drop a bomb on me and go to sleep. I feel terrible that he feels that way. He tells me to stop it. I start crying and say I need him to tell me everything is ok. He yells at me to leave him alone. He jumps out of bed tells me I’m a nightmare and a monster and goes to sleep in the living room.

***Now he's lost it and behaving very badly.

I am awake now and don’t know how to approach him. What should I do? [/quote]

Tell him you need to talk.  You're hurt by his angry words and behavior, but you also want to hear more about what prompted his first comments.  In this conversation, no one gets to call names,  Just talk about his/her experience and ask questions.[/quote]

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