Reply to Husband says he doesn’t want to talk about practical stuff

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband is very dreamy and a romantic. His interests are art, politics, philosophy, literature and religion.

That’s all fine but I want for us to figure out logistics of every day life. Finances and mortgages and vacations.

He gets so bored and checks out whenever I try to bring up any of those topics.

I don’t know what to do. [/quote]

How convenient! He does not want to talk or deal with life! [/quote]

I am similar to OPs DH ( outside of the religious part, and more business heavy). The issues is a lot of this doesn’t need to be a discussion, or at the very least it doesn’t need to be a regular one..

Mortgage discussion doesn’t need to be more they 5 minutes.  Most of a mortgage is actually dictate by some else based on your income and debt. Either stretch it or be more conservative.  If you are at the point of purchasing a house with someone you probably know there financial philosophy.

Vacations, ever read the vacation threads on here.  People turn vacations into trips and make both more miserable than they need to be.   
[b]You get on a plain or in a car and you go somewhere enjoy it and leave.[/b]  Again if you are married you know what type of traveler your spouse is  and you know what type accommodations they prefer.

[/quote]
 
We both know you can't just get on a plane to "somewhere." Somebody in the marriage has to set a budget, arrange time off work, buy tickets, make reservations, and pack. If they don't talk about it, then either they never travel or she does everything. And doing everything can be very lonely and stressful, even if you're not worried about whether your spouse will enjoy it.

And then repeat for every household decision. Ugh.[/quote]

PP here.  But it doesn’t have to be a long “discussion”. Perfect scenario. Last night I said to wife my wife do you want to go to Paris end of September early October?  She said sounds great. I then notice really good deals on hotels in Madrid, said to you want to go to Madrid also, she said sound sure. I booked 3 tickets, 4 nights hotel in Paris and four nights in a hotel in Madrid.  It took a grand 
total of 15 minutes.  Less than 1 min was conversation.

One of us will send an email to hotel a few days before we leave asking them to arrange airport transfer.

Outbound flight is in evening out of Dulles we will pack in the morning go to airport early - mid afternoon, eat early dinner, get on plain.

When we get there we will get train tickets to and from Madrid.

What grand conversation needs to be had?

My guess is her DH is responding just not to level she expects.[/quote]

NP. I think you are a troll. But if you’re not a troll, your experience is very different from many, whether married or not. Sounds like you have no kids, lots of financial freedom, and enough flexibility at work that you CBC book a vacation without requesting the time off or even checking your calendar. It does sound nice and easy t do it your way, but you can bet if we’re planning our once in a decade trip abroad I’m going to spend more than 15 minutes on it and will want to discuss options with DH. And he’ll would want the same thing.    [/quote]

Again without kids, yes it’s easy to fly to a hotel anywhere in the world.

What else are you going to do while in Paris or Madrid? I believe tickets for the Louvre have a waitlist, for example.

I mean if staying in the hotel for four days is fun, great.  [/quote]

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