Reply to Declining offer to help when it isn’t really helpful at all?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, PP, you apparently have a strong need to justify unhealthy interactions. Work on that.

/not OP[/quote]

Okay. NP here. While I don't agree that OP is terrible person and there are several outs here...what is unhealthy about mom wanting 30 minutes of small talk time with her daughter?

Based on OPs post alone, no other info,she is strung up because Mom will want to chat, not just ghost.

I think OP can politely decline, but is one total hour really going to kill her schedule?[/quote]

I wasn't talking about the interaction between OP and her mother as unhealthy. I was talking about the interaction between PP and OP.

Be that as it may -- this is not 30 minutes, but an hour. That's an hour (pickup and dropoff times, together) on what is a [I]very[/I] stressful day. OP is telling us that her mother can't "read the room." [b]She doesn't pick up and respond to verbal and nonverbal cues [/b]that OP needs to focus on other things and is getting stressed.

It's not necessarily that OP can't do it. It's just pretty sad and painful that OP's mom doesn't care as much about what her daughter needs in a stressful moment as she does about her own desire to talk at that particular moment, instead of a little sooner or later. It's not like they never see each other.[/quote]

NP. If/when my mom isn't "reading the room,"[b] I politely and directly talk to her about what I want or need. [/b]What a novel concept! Directly expressing your wishes instead of getting frustrated that someone else isn't doing exactly what I want them to do when I want them to do it.

I hate it when people treat life like a Jane Austen novel full of weighted pauses, fraught looks and furtive glances. Just open your mouth and say, "I love you, Mr. Darcy!" [/quote]

Yeah, that's called a "verbal cue."

Let me be direct about it: I don't think you can read.

[/quote]

"Verbal cue" is not a thing, unless you mean passive agressive words, vague statements, or hand-wringing mush-mouthing.

Use your words, not your "verbal cues."  [/quote]

"Verbal cue" has a specific meaning in talking about how language works. It includes direct commands.

Sorry you don't know how to talk about words. I even included a videolink!

Sad.[/quote]

Mwauh mwauh mwauh...[/quote]

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