Reply to Disastrous Freshman Year

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, your son sounds like a good kid & you soundlike a very loving, patient & understanding mom. He probably just needs a little guidance but doesn't know how to ask.

Freshman year is intimidating for them all, however some kids just have a way of rolling through it better... they like a challenge (fyi, my kid is NOT like this, lol!).

Whether that means they're better organized, or they make sure they get enough sleep during the week, maybe they're self starters; so they don't procrastinate and wait until the last minute to complete/hand-in homework/graded assignments, or some kids can see the writing on the wall & know that they're in over their head & make a choice to ask for help (instead of waiting until the bad report card comes around to have that difficult discussion, they are proactive about it). Let's be honest though, most kids don't want to rock the boat until it's absolutely necessary (ie; report cards are sent home).

I've heard that some kids can even self regulate their online/social media/texting so they only use it for let's say one hour each afternoon/evening (I've never actually met a teen who can do this, but I hear they're out there & live amongst us in the wild).

No child can be ALL responsible ALL the time; just like every child can be successful with at least ONE of these if they really try (or at least a modified version / something similar to these).

OP,  think of your son's strengths & speak to him about this past year... really communicate with him.

Without a single shred of judgment or disappointment, ask him where he thinks he struggled, what was most challenging for him this year & also where he SHINED (and tell him you want specifics, as that is the only way you can help him, so "I dont know" isn't acceptable).

If need be, give him some of these examples to guide him if he can't think of any himself. 
In the future, tell him that when he sees that he's struggling, to come to you immediately so you can assist him in researching help for him. As long as he comes to you proactively, be supportive & understanding (but he needs to understand that proactive means long BEFORE report cards are issued each quarter, when he still has time to fix his grade).

He'll find his stride Sophomore year & if he doesn't, he has you to help him figure out why he's not.   Good luck to you. 
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