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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I attribute a huge part of the challenge of this to the DC area. A lot of people here are competitive, ladder climber types more interested in getting ahead than authentic friendship. Even those interested in “friendship” may not willing to be authentic—they simply use friendships as an excuse to show off and present an Imstagrammable vision of a picture perfect life - they throw over the top dinner parties or kid’s parties, they host get togethers to show off their amazingly nice, clean house (god forbid you ever invite someone over and the house look, daresay, normal or messy), they excessively Instagram get togethers to show the world they have friends, how Pinterest-worthy their cooking is, etc. I’ve lived here for over a decade and still have friends who will have me over unless their house looks like it’s ready for a professional photo shoot.

Then there’s the childless - plenty of DINKS and singles will never have kids and will lose interest in you as a friend once you become a parent. They won’t like kids, or it will remind them of what they want and can’t/may never have, or they don’t care to be your friend once boozy brunch and late night drinking and adults only gatherings are not part of your regular life anymore.

Another huge hurdle is geography: It takes forever to get anywhere because of the traffic, and people live everywhere in the suburbs so even if you make good friends they could all live 30 minutes-an hour away and then it’s virtually impossible to get together around everyone’s perpetually overscheduled lives, kid’s nap schedules, illnesses, etc.

And then the whole transient nature of the city adds to the complexity, the massive range of wealth can put people on very different scales (in our neighborhood you’ve got low income housing, expensive apartments, and multimillion dollar homes) making it hard to relate, and the fact that people are constantly moving in and out creates a very difficult and constant churn.

Personally I spent close to a decade making friends and putting in the time and energy and so many of these folks have now moved I have largely given up. Meanwhile I have watched other friends move to new communities in other areas (Midwest, New England, Northwest) and find groups of friends relatively easy, so I honestly think much of the challenge is just DC. People don’t move here to make friends. [/quote]

Hmmm. I keep a clean house. We have a housekeeper and I have a neat freak husband. I host casual play dates and birthdays. We have lots of friends. Often we meet in the middle so we both travel 10-20 minutes.

You sound really negative.

We have made so many great people. DH and I are very social. Our 3 kids have friends. We have moved within DMV. We have had a few friends move but made new ones.[/quote]

You live in the burbs and are a wealthy homeowner, sounds like.  Not the same experience as someone living in the city who isn’t wealthy. [/quote]

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