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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Any moms stay at hotel while daughter goes thru Rush? DD moves in and rushes the week before school starts. It is a pretty big state school in the south. [/quote]

DD went thru rush at a big southern school. [b]She felt pretty bad about herself after getting dropped from houses she really liked and getting invited back to houses she wasn't crazy about[/b]. It was so hard because she didn't have any friends yet. I got phone calls at 7 am and phone calls at 11 pm with her crying. I don't know how I cold have helped if I had been local.[/quote]

This unfortunately happens and something to keep in mind for the OP  is that those houses that girls really like are usually really, really good at marketing themselves and their goal is to make girls like them and want to join.  [b]They are just really, really good at rush and rush events.  So if a girl likes them and wants to join, they have done their job.[/b]

Also OP there are lots of girls who have made youtube videos about the rush process at southern schools so it's worth taking a peek at them to get an idea of the process.  [/quote]

This.
I wish moms understood this enough to explain it to their daughters so that they would get that. The idea from the sorority standpoint is to make EVERY GIRL WANT TO JOIN YOUR GROUP. The recruitment process is based on MUTUAL selection, so obviously if a sorority can achieve the goal of getting every girl to choose YOU...then it puts you, as a sorority, in the driver's seat as far as selecting which ones to offer membership to. And each sorority only gets to invite a set number to join so that the pledge classes have an even distribution.

Sororities do this by marketing themselves, as PP said...and appearing outgoing, fun, friendly, chatty, and interested in getting to know each girl that walks through their door....(think of it as being a good host if you are having a party. A good host makes everyone feel welcome and at ease, asks questions, nods, smiles, and generally makes sure everyone is comfortable and having a good time.) And yes, the groups that do this best ARE, in fact, made up of members who are naturally outgoing, chatty, friendly, and fun--or at least know how to project this without much effort...and tend to have (not all, but a plethora of) objectively attractive members...and so they tend to continue to attract people to their group. And when you are the group everyone wants to join, you tend to gravitate toward selecting new members who also exhibit those traits.

The fact is, there are groups that are better at this than others. (Even PP's daughter said she had preferences of which groups she WANTED to join that didn't invite her back. And the ones who did invite her back, she just wasn't feeling it.) That is likely not a knock on the girls in that group at all. But rather simply indicative of their ability to self-promote and engage in outgoing, socially confident small-talk behavior. The sororities that are favored by most young women who are going through the process tend to be at ease in social settings where you're meeting new faces and making small talk over and over again. And this confident exuberance make everyone who visits feel warm and welcomed and relaxed. EVEN IF you are a young woman who is really more chill and introverted and would click better with girls in a more laid-back house, it is hard not to get caught up in the polish and presentation of a more collectively outgoing group.

Other groups (and individuals seeking to join) who are less skilled at the small talk and who may be more introverted just don't shine or stand out by comparison during the recruitment process.

And that's an obvious flaw in an imperfect system.

It hurts to feel rejected. And that is what it feels like to want to receive an invitation that doesn't come. That other PP who compared recommendations to the job interview process got it right, I think. It hurts to apply for a job you don't get. But it doesn't mean the right job for you or right sorority for you isn't out there. And it doesn't mean that you would have been happier at the first company than you were at the company who did hire you. It's just that the first company made it appear more enticing at the onset.

[/quote]

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