Reply to FTM with Unsupportive Family

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "FTM with Unsupportive Family"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]She drove out to you while on bedrest and asked how to help you, and you asked her to clean your place? lol it's not surprising she declined.[/b] Either sit down and talk to her about how you feel and how you'd like to proceed, or accept that it's always going to be this way. Either way, you can do it without family support. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you can do this. [/quote]

np:  What were you and OP’s mother expecting OP to ask for?  I can’t think of anything OP would need with more than domestic chores![/quote]

Why cant OP DH clean and unpack? [/quote]

+100

[b]Keep in mind, OP, people make this "offer" all the time. "Larla, I'm sorry to hear you're on bedrest. Is there any thing I can do to help?" really translates into "Sorry youre on bedrest. Sending good vibes your way. Text me when things change". [/b]They don't literally want to be your maid service by unpacking your house, doing your laundry, cleaning your bathroom, etc. C'mon OP.
Plus, she probably figured you were being dramatic with bedrest. A lot of times that older generation is so far removed from pregnancy (well, back when I was pregnant I still kept up with the house, cooking, and subsequent kids all while smoking cigrettes), that the term bedrest just seems like an excuse to lay around with overly protective doctors monitoring you.

Another perspective on this is that sometimes people freeze up and distance themselves when a family member is in a stressful situation (like your LO born premature/NICU). They don't know what to say or do so they do nothing. In fact, they might put up an emotional wall/go into denial. It's not uncommon for them to turn the situation into being about them instead offering to help. [/quote]

No hon, that's just you who thinks like that and your ilk.  Most healthy peoplenmeannwhatbthey say and actually get JOY from helping others.

I'm guessing altruism is not something you comprehend.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics