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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi there - I'm a 33 Black mom to be and worried about delivery.  I know the basics but I keep reading about Black women not being listened to in the hospital and our pain not being taken seriously.

Has anyone been through this?  What happened?  How did you handle?

Scared in DC[/quote]

I’ll try to be nice s I try to articulate my point.  Try not to see the world in black and white. No such thing as not being listened to because you are black. There are all kinds of personalities at the hospital and in life regardless of race. I am black but a first generation black and I think AA do themselves a disadvantage by always looking at the world this way. I’m not saying there aren’t ignorant people out there but at the same time that’s just people regardless of race. [/quote]

PP: you really need to read up on this phenomenon. It is well-documented for several health conditions, but particularly childbirth. Which is why there is still a high mortality rate for middle class AA moms and babies.
—Different poster and AA mom.

[b]OP, bring an advocate other than DH. This person’s job is to question/verify and document.[/b] [/quote]
+1
I make this recommendation for all my pregnant friends, just because I think having a third party whose job it is to pay attention to the process and watch out for both mom and dad is extremely important. They need to understand your wishes and also understand the potential health challenges unique to AA women. While a doula would be nice, I also think a dedicated friend could serve this role also.[/quote]

I don’t think the health challenges are that unique, it’s the racism. Let’s just call it what it is.[/quote]

Yep. Research hints at this. But of course white folks dont want to hear it. 
https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/magazine/magazine_article/america-is-failing-its-black-mothers/
[/quote]

I'm the PP and happen to be white and I don't buy for a second that other white women genuinely don't understand that it's racism. It doesn't take a genius. It especially drives me nuts wihen women deny this because we all collectively face sexism every day, so we all know what discrimination can feel like and how it can hold us back (but also how it can make us resilient and determined!). But I digress...

I'm also the PP who wrote the long post suggesting OP interview OBs. I'm delivering my second at GW soon and I have jotted down a few names of OBs I found intolerably arrogant, who treated me like some kind of widget in a factory they just needed to process, and/or who came across as merely incompentent. To be fair, the list is short, but my husband has that list now, so he knows he may have to be extra vigilant if one of those is on call when I go into labor. (I also have a list of 2-3 favorites who seem amazing.) Some doctors will give themselves away voluntarily, while with others, you may have to put some very direct questions right out there and see their reactions. This is no time to be overly ppolite.

You may not be able to guarantee who delivers your baby but you may increase your chances of having your OB present if you don't go with a big practice.
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