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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
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PP, thanks for your time thoughtful post. I had not connected this to lack of confidence or a fear of making mistakes. DS is confident in other areas of his life, but not so much in soccer. Until this season we’ve mostly had parent coaches that focused on the strongest players.p and kindness of ignored the other players. I think he has it in his head that he’s not as strong as other kids. He is kind of perfectionistic and sensitive to other kids blaming him for mistakes. So maybe an abundance of caution is making him slow down during games.

Any ideas on how to help him with confidence on the field?

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As others have said, just encourage his love for the game and find places for him to have fun playing. Some players hold back against bigger kids, kids they perceive as better, or even because they are thinking too hard about what to do. That's why emphasis on winning at this age is insane.

Does your son love soccer? Do some summer camps. My son who would shut down during games was a force at soccer camps. The same is true for group training away from the team.  You know why he was so much better there? Because camps were fun for him and playing not to lose in games was not. My kid also lacks a bit of natural aggression, but over the years, we have often seen his perception of the game reflected in his play. If he thinks the other team is bad, he can do anything he wants with the ball and dominates. If the other team is huge, he might be a bit more tentative. When he thinks he has nothing to lose, like if he is playing with older kids or with a team he doesn't know, he is free and confident.  When he is worried about displeasing his coach, it shows on the field. As a teen, we still struggle with these issues, but DS has made great strides in terms of appearing aggressive on the field more often.

Ball skills and love for the sport - that's what it is all about in this age. That, plus encouragement to try moves and make mistakes just because it is fun.[/quote]

This is great advice. And also describes my kid as well. I’d add try not to rehash or analyze games on the car ride home afterwards. Maybe ask him what he thought of,the game a few hours later and let him lead the discussion. If he wants to talk about it great, if he doesn’t, then that’s fine too. [/quote]

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