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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Read this article and show your husband it as well...

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_n_9055288

"She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink"

"...She will never agree with him, because for her, it’s not ACTUALLY about the glass. The glass situation could be ANY situation in which she feels unappreciated and disrespected by her husband.

The wife doesn’t want to divorce her husband because he leaves used drinking glasses by the sink.

She wants to divorce him because she feels like he doesn’t respect or appreciate her, which suggests he doesn’t love her, and she can’t count on him to be her lifelong partner. She can’t trust him. She can’t be safe with him. Thus, she must leave and find a new situation in which she can feel content and secure.

In theory, the man wants to fight this fight, because he thinks he’s right (and I tend to agree with him): The dirty glass is not more important than marital peace.

If his wife thought and felt like him, he’d be right to defend himself. Unfortunately, most guys don’t know that she’s NOT fighting about the glass. She’s fighting for acknowledgment, respect, validation, and his love."[/quote]

Other than the fact that I have explained to him many times why this upsets me so much (not just the lack of respect/appreciation, but also why it makes me life affirmatively harder), that hits the nail on the head.  It’s not really about the mess so much as that the mess makes me question whether he cares about me, whether he loves me, whether this is a secure marriage and whether is he someone I can trust and rely upon, both practically and emotionally.  I hate being at home because I don’t feel safe and secure in my home anymore.

This sucks.[/quote]

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