Reply to Fostering - give it to me straight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You simply can’t do this with two working parents. It isn’t fair to the child. [/quote]

I am a teacher who has taught many foster kids, and also an adoptive parent.

I have kids who have been in institutional care, or sent to foster homes so far away that they had to give up their school and community too, and kids who were separated from siblings because the only home had one bed.  Those things are unfair.  A loving foster family and aftercare?  That is not a problem for the kid.  [/quote]

The issue is these kids need mental health treatment generally and often have SN that need therapy plus family visits.  It’s far more work to do it right.  If you do the absolute minimum ok but with that many kids under 6 and working how much time do they have. [/quote]

As I said, I have walked this path (although I am a single working parent).  Was it hard for me?  Yes, it was.  Did my career look different than it might otherwise have?  Of course.  Did I sometimes have to make compromises in my kid’s care?  Yes of course.  I might have chosen the speech therapist who could come to daycare, over the one who was the best, and to only see the psychologist on the weeks we didn’t see the psychiatrist because I couldn’t handle another appointment in a week.  Yes.  I did.  But the idea that somehow it was unfair for my kid for me to try, when the other option for him was an institutional placement?  That is absurd.

OP needs to think about what she can give and what she can handle, but if she decides to do foster care the fact that she won’t do it perfectly should not be a worry.  Kids need parents.  Not perfect parents.  Foster kids or bio kids.[/quote]

+1. As a bio single parent, I’m certainly not doing it perfectly. Your post resonated with me. [/quote]

And, did your biological child have SN?  Mental health appointments, social work appointments, doctor appointments, 1-2 time a week supervised family visits?  Behavioral issues, especially after the visits?[/quote]

Whether she had them or not, I would not have been able to accommodate multi day a week appointments nor would I have been able to support it financially. There are far too many kids and not enough loving homes to accommodate them. Implying that someone needs to quit working in order to adequately foster kids is ridiculous. [/quote]

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