Reply to Fostering - give it to me straight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You simply can’t do this with two working parents. It isn’t fair to the child. [/quote]

I am a teacher who has taught many foster kids, and also an adoptive parent.

I have kids who have been in institutional care, or sent to foster homes so far away that they had to give up their school and community too, and kids who were separated from siblings because the only home had one bed.  Those things are unfair. [b] A loving foster family and aftercare?  That is not a problem for the kid. [/b] [/quote]

Depends on the kid. We fostered a kid who had severe anxiety and many autism-like symptoms including a lot of noise sensitivity. He COULD NOT DO aftercare. He ran away and the police had to be called. We were able to pay out of pocket for a babysitter to pick him up from school, and I cut my hours back at work. But he really truly needed a stay at home parent because there were days he couldn't go to school at all. For many reasons we were not the right family for him, despite being loving, and he was moved out of our school and community for a different placement. This was the right choice for him and he was a lot more successful in a different environment.

OP, the conventional wisdom is to maintain birth order (only take kids younger than your youngest). Expect your kids to be exposed to language and behaviors you may not approve of. It can be hard for foster siblings to see kids come and go, but with enough support it certainly can work. As you're in the process of deciding how your family can help, a program like DC127 or FAPAC may be able to connect you with respite opportunities--basically you could babysit for a kid in foster care while their foster parent runs errands or otherwise needs a break. DC127 also works with kids whose parents need a short-term placement for their kid or else the kid will go into care--often it's something like a single parent without a support network who needs surgery. There are way fewer appointments and no court dates, and the parent retains all rights to the kids. The goal is to prevent foster care, and to reduce trauma on the kid. It might be a good way to see how your family does with having young visitors. Although DC127 is a pretty Christian organization you definitely don't have to be to volunteer with them. [/quote]

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