Reply to Tweens dropping one friend from the group

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]If the person is being dropped because they are mean, that's one thing. If they are being dropped for not being cool enough, that's quite another. This is a chance to articulate your values to your kid. She doesn't have to be best friends with the target, but she ought to think hard about whether what she is doing is kind, is fair, and is reflective of the kind of person she wants to be.[/quote]

I think there's probably a lot in between being dropped because they are mean and being dropped because they are not cool enough.  I remember feeling very frustrated and exasperated with a friend when I was in junior high school, but at the time, I couldn't really say why.  Now that I'm an adult, I recognize that it was because the friend talked about herself all of the time and didn't seem to care about what was going on with me.  But I don't think I could have identified that as the problem when I was 13.

Still, I agree that it is important to reflect on treating the other person kindly and fairly - even if that means doing so as you pull back from a friendship.[/quote]

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