Reply to Tweens dropping one friend from the group

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]As the parent of a child who had this happen to them, I resent some of the responses here. It is totally okay for friends and friend groups to shift, and unfortunately that means some kids will be pushed out of a group. However, to act as if it is always “caused” by the kid who is pushed out is to ignore the reality that is middle school aged kids can just be mean and seek to exclude someone for something as simple as they don’t have as much money, they are not physically maturing as quickly, they have a learning disability and are not as “fast” intellectually, they are not as athletic, whatever.[/quote]

I agree that middle school kids can be mean, and drop friends for cruel reasons.  At the same time, friend groups can change as interests and personalities change.   My son was very upset that a group of boys that he used to be friendly with dropped him, but those boys got very into watching and playing hockey and DS has no interest in hockey.   I don't really feel those boys did anything wrong - they didn't tease DS, and they weren't rude to him, but they just stopped inviting him to hang out.  The dropping was "caused" by DS in the sense that he had divergent interests, but not in the sense that he did anything wrong.

Luckily DS also has other friend groups, so he wasn't alone at school and still had other kids to socialize with.[/quote]

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