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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I actually think your resistance to going is more because of your heritage and the sort of "expected reverence" that you seem to imply your family expects of you WRT Israel. Israel is HIGH on my travel list bc everyone I know who goes (FWIW I have a bunch of family who each ended up going in the last few years, none of whome are Jewish) raves about the sites, scene, culture, etc. I think if you viewed it like you might traveling to Spain, Croatia, or somewhere else without the more emotional /family back story to it, you might realize it's a great opportunity to go on a fun extended family adventure[/quote]

OP here. I think that’s an incredibly insightful point. I think I’m definitely bristling because this is being presented as an “opportunity” rather than a tremendous ask

To answer some other points. When I said go for 48 hours, I meant 48 hours in the country. Not start to finish! Not sure if that makes it seem any less insane, but that’s what’s being paid for. The entire trip is 12 days.

I also don’t think my husband is being entirely unreasonable. He had no xissues, like one would think, with the local bat mitzvah...or even the several we’ve travelled up and down the east cost for.  I get that a weeklong trip to Israel  could be a wonderful experience. It’s just not at the top of our list. We have trips planned to England and Greece in the next few years. But., if the main focus were a great extended family holiday, then, I think you sit down and agree on location and timing. I do feel kind of manipulated by the fact it’s tied to the bat mitzvah to the point where a “no” holds so much more weight. We gone on a couple extended family trips with my brother and mother, so it’s not like it’s a foreign concept. But, usually they are the ones with severe date or location restrictions. Being expected to drop everything and take the trip on their time table does rankle.

And, yes, our daughter has Bat Mitvah scheduled. It’s local :)

Finally, I’m fairly certain the ceremony in Israel isn’t going to Orthodox. [/quote]

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