Reply to Short vent about straight people trying to be nice

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah- you just can’t win. Say nothing- your silently judging. Say something- you are over generalizing/patronizing. Socializing is impossible these days. Folks have a
Narrow  idea of what is acceptable these days- & anything else is offensive. We all need to stop taking ourselves so seriously. [/quote]
Straight when man here.  Just be normal!  Say what you would normally say to anyone.  If a guy mentions his wife, do you say - oh, I know another guy who is married? No, because it’s silly.  I’m straight but I’m also AA so I know what OP is talking about.  It happens less now and I do recognize that the intentions are good, but you don’t have to tell me about your black friend.[/quote]

This is what I was thinking of too, and the Asian comments from white people. My parents are like that. My dad had a black coworker he didn’t socialize with, probably 30 years ago, and he still talks about his “black friend” when race comes up. I had a close friend in college who was originally from Thailand. When I mentioned her to my mom one day, my mom started telling me about someone she knows who has a Thai secretary. She actually said, “maybe I should ask what her name is. I wonder if they know each other.”  :shock: I pointed out that there are more than 10 people in Thailand so there’s a chance that a 19 year old college student and a 40something office worker who moved to different parts of the US at different times haven’t met. She sort of understood the point I was making but said she was just trying to help and be nice, which was also condescending, as though everyone she determines is “other” needs help from a middle aged white woman. I can’t remember who she was trying to educate/save/connect with but one time I took her aside and told her to stop because she’s not Sandy B and this isn’t the blind side.

It’s normal to want to connect with people, but it’s socially awkward to say what people are saying to OP. I have a trans son. When I tell people, most are cool, but I sometimes get comments about how they love the show I am Jazz. They seem shocked when I say I’ve never seen it, as if somehow that makes me less supportive of my son. One person even made a reference to Boys Don’t Cry. I swear it was like I could see things click into place in their head after they said that. They followed up with “oh wait, didn’t she, he, I mean Hillary Swank’s character die at the end? I hope nothing bad happens to your son.” Really? Thanks. I hope you don’t die in a fiery car crash on your way home from dinner too. [/quote]

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