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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can she wear a dressy tunic over nice leggings? Or a dressy skort and nice top?

I sympathize OP as I was that kid too. Hated dresses, cut the lace off my socks, hated the patent leather dressy shoes (80s). My parents required that I wear a dress for synagogue and other dressy events but compromised by letting me have input into picking it -- and not complaining if I picked something plain, like red and black stripes instead of pink with frills and lace.

If you can, find out why she hates dresses so much. For me it was because I felt self-conscious in them. Even at 6 I thought I was fat (I wasn't, but I wasn't as skinny as my super-skinny sister, which in my mind translated to fat). Getting to pick the dress helped because I could choose colors I liked.

I don't think there is anything wrong with saying "look, there is a dress code; when it's a dressy event, girls wear a dress or a skirt and boys wear nice pants and a polo shirt. You have to wear a dress or skirt to be appropriately dressed, just like you don't wear shorts in the winter or a scarf in the summer. But you can help pick the dress or skirt."[/quote]

I think this is a good point - to find out the "why" behind it.  I think (and hope!) she has good self-image/body-image, but I will have to explore that a little more.  I really think that she just likes boy things/thinks they're more comfortable/wants to be like her big brother/and possibly, someday, could want to be an actual boy but we're totally not there yet at all, and who knows.  She likes her long hair, and likes being a girl who likes boy things.

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I would not force her to wear a dress or skirt saying that it's the "dress code."  I might have her take a look at different options, like comfy leggings and tunics. But some women/girls just hate the feeling and look of dresses, as well as the expectation that they have to wear a dress.  I was one of those - I have hated dresses/skirts my whole life, and it didn't have anything to do with body image.  It's partly the way they feel (constricting, strange) and also because it just makes me miserable.  I can't really explain why!  [/quote]

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