Reply to accepting that sister doesn't like me and we will never be a "family"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sister lives about 35 minutes away and we have kids of similar ages. We recently moved and we are closer to her, location wise.

I had this fantasy of 1x a month dinners, play time, etc. I grew up in a nuclear family (3 kids, 2 parents) and my parents are still alive and married, but none of us are close and speak regularly. I really, really want a "family" (like Parenthood!). I have tried, but the effort is for nothing and it is exhausting me emotionally. I need to cut my losses. I have, a bit, and I do feel relief.

I am processing coming to terms with this. Recently, I tried for weeks to get us together, but she said she was busy, etc etc. Then she posted a whole bunch of photos of them with their neighbors, having a blast. We weren't invited, of course, and more so she told me she was busy all that day. It was sort of a punch to the gut, AND a HUGE wake up call. She doesn't want to spend time with us.

I was just hoping we'd morph into friends and family and our dislike for each other would be overruled by good times and family love. It was made abundantly clear to me the minute she shared those photos that it isn't going to happen for us. Ever.

I just have this desire for a "family", and it isn't happening. We are blessed with great friends and an idyllic life. It is time to really move on, and accept that maybe we will see each other 4x a year for our kid birthdays and Christmas, but never to "hang out".

Please be kind. Anyone been in a similar place?

(we can't afford therapy so I'm turning to DCUM). :) [/quote]

I'm sorry, OP. But to be honest, if you weren't close before for reasons that have nothing to do with distance, closer proximity is unlikely to change that.

That said, perhaps there is a happy medium. How old are all the kids? Even if your sister doesn't want to get together frequently as entire families, is there a possibility that you take her kids for an overnight or weekend once a month, to let the cousins hang out together and get close? And she can reciprocate if she has time but if not, at least you will be getting to know your nieces/nephews and your kids will get to know their cousins?[/quote]

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