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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- he is refusing to get treatment for his depression and using drugs to cope, including allowing drugs around our infant. I don't really know how else to get through to him. FWIW we are UMC, he is a big law partner. I don't think anyone would suspect so it's hard carrying this secret. [/quote]

Op get out. I was you 4.5 years ago. STBXH is a big partner in a law firm. At the time I didn’t have proof but he had a depression, using drugs, alcohol abuse and infidelity. Refused therapy. I went for myself. 3 counsellors told me get out now. While the baby is little and won’t know any different. He had near to zero contact or connection to the baby out of his own choice at the time. Marriage and parenting was hell with him. He never did anything with the baby not even the fun bits like bathing or playing.
Now I’m one month separated. Guess why. He’s a bigger partner than before. I busted him for drugs, substances a two-year affair and hookers. He has a major depression and still refuses therapy. 
Know what’s different: Our 5 yo has bonded to him, she is traumatized, she crys every night that daddy moved out, she has a mom that is trying to get her act together but is so tired and worn out by the last years.
Regarding the consequence of having a new wife co-parenting, if you have proof of drugs he’d have to be clean to take the baby. [/quote]

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