Reply to How to get over wedding chip on my shoulder?

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[quote=Anonymous]If I was you, OP, I would drop the whole cost of the wedding conversation. Like other PPs have said, your mother likely thinks the $15K covered it (and I also got married 10 years ago in DC, with a huge close family with 200 guests and our entire wedding-- open bar/dinner/beautiful venue cost ~22k, so her thought is not unreasonable).

I do not see a problem, however, in saying something about this pressure and expectation that you throw showers for everyone when no one thought to throw you a shower for your wedding or a baby shower.

I think I would be hurt that in that situation, too.

It might be they just didn't think of it, or maybe you are viewed as the party planner in the family and thus no one thought to throw one for you, etc. At the very least, if you are still feeling so hurt by it a decade later, it might be a good idea to discuss it in a non-accusatory way.

I would just think carefully about what you want out of the conversation-- do you want them to apologize? Do you want them to stop pressuring you to throw showers for others? etc

I would also consider what you would do if they get defensive. Are you willing to drop it to avoid a fight or hard feelings? etc.[/quote]

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