Reply to Guilt over having an only child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Life is imperfect, op.   We do the best we can as we go along.  You have a lovely child, I'm sure.  If he's lonely, look at getting him involved in clubs, maybe Cub Scouts or something like that, where he'll feel part of a larger group of friends. [/quote]
+1  OP also keep up those relationships with the relatives.  They don't develop on their own.  Cousin relationships are special and can be incredibly close and long-lasting.  [/quote]

Thanks.  [b] We do have him involved in several activities; which is sometimes hard to keep up with both of us working full time and him getting exhausted.  [/b] DC also has cousins, but they are 10+ years older.  [/quote]

I'd say focus on the ones that allow him plenty of interaction with other kids, then. Things like robotics, where they have to work together to solve a problem, or sports with a bit of down time in the middle of the action. Busy doesn't necessarily mean social, especially if there's a lot of travel time involved on either side of an hour-long practice.

My only child has gravitated toward Girl Scouts, where she has a core group of girls who have been together since first grade. They don't always agree on everything, and as they've grown the things they have in common have ebbed and flowed, but they always have to find a way to work together in the end—just like siblings. I wouldn't necessarily say they're all close friends, but neither are siblings, necessarily.

Mine sometimes says she's lonely, and occasionally expressed a desire for a sibling when she was younger, but usually a day spent with a friend with younger siblings hanging around is enough to cure that! Her friends' parents say she's always great about including the younger siblings, but when she comes home she usually says it was kind of exhausting and frustrating.

The biggest issue she's found is that at sleepaway camp, she sometimes has a really hard time dealing with having that many people in her space for so long. Once the initial post-camp burst of energy subsides, she'll shut herself in her room for a full day, just to decompress and enjoy the peace and quiet. Even at sleepovers, I'll sometime notice she's slipped off to read when the other girls get really energetic and loud.

Not sure how much of that is being an only child, though, and how much is just a bit of natural introversion. But I have a younger sister, and I was probably the same way. Still am, I guess, now that I think about it.

I think our only serious concern about having an only child is how that might affect her as WE grow older. It can be good to have others who can pitch in and help as parents get older, but it can also be a real source of frustration and conflict—between us, my husband and I have seen all shades of this on the various sides of our families. I think we've come to realize that it's extra-important for us to have our own plans in place long before she should ever need to implement them.[/quote]

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