Reply to Do you excuse sexist or racist behavior from a older relative because of their age?

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[quote=Anonymous]"Honor they mother and father" does not mean you have to agree with everything they think or say.  It means being patient with them and gently correcting them.

My dad uses "Oriental" from time to time.  Its not an offensive word so much as an outdated one.  I just kind of pause, and say "so, the word now is "asian" just to be clear" and he's like "yes of course" .  They grew up in a different time, in the mid 1950s to late 1960s on the west edge of Baltimore City, when neighborhoods were undergoing flux and there were some violent and alarming incidents.  When you're in your 20s trying to live your life and people are trying to victimize you, humans tend to form opinions.  I mean, the multiple-attempted burglers NEVER looked like they do on those ADT commercials, is what I'm saying.  Incidentally one of my dad's friends is black...hes also a retired state trooper and is conservative and quite the comedian too.
My parents aren't rednecks or racist in their decision making but they are in their mid 70s and are what they are.

I cant judge them any more for how life has shaped them than I can an honest black motorist who has been stopped by the police so many times he is nervous about "what is it THIS time?"

My wife's elderly jewish grandfather apparently hurled some racist epithets in the short time he lived as a widower in a care facility.  He wasn't all there.  He never said ANYTHING like that when he was around us.  If dementia turns people racist, I think there's a study to be done there.  Are we all just racist and our intelligent functioning minds lets us abstract over it, the better angels of our natures? Yikes.[/quote]

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