Reply to Rent is Due: Am I being too hard on my daughter?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you are being too hard on her op. A regular landlord isn't interested in sob stories, but a regular landlord isn't going to ride her ass about where she works, how she spends her time, or the legitimacy of her hobbies. It's interesting that you say she could "easily walk to work" when you aren't the one doing it. She has reliable public transit that she is comfortable using. There is nothing wrong with that. Her hobbies sound great, rock climbing and guitar. Is she not allowed to enjoy wholesome activities? Would you prefer she spend her time and money on alcohol and looser boyfriends? 
You mention the dog, are you sure you aren't leveraging her, i.e. "Your dad and I are going out tonight, can you walk and feed the dog"? or "We're going away for the weekend, can you take care of the dog?" A regular landlord wouldn't make those requests either. 
As for her lack of common sense, you raised her. I never say this, but I will now, why didn't you do your job better? Is her lack of common sense because you didn't take the time and energy to talk and listen to her? Or is she simply making choices you wouldn't. It looks like that from where I sit. You also know full well why she doesn't drive. Why not address that if it bothers you? A regular landlord wouldn't care about that either. I'd suggest you kick her out if you don't want her there, or dial back on the rent and begin teaching her the skills she lacks, or addressing the reasons why she doesn't have them. Also be aware that from my perspective, you've described a nice young woman. Be very careful that her biggest problem in life isn't you and how you treat and view her.  
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OP here, Oy vey! This response went wayyy off the rails! I mentioned public transportation because the metro fare is part of what eats into her pay check and her commute. When I say easily walk, I literally mean we live inches from a massive shopping mall.

I gave my daughter every advantage in life (private school, dance, piano, art, horseback riding lessons) and it appears to be backfiring. She was in school on a full scholarship and dropped out because she did not like the culture.

You seem to have some other issues going on within yourself so I'm going to leave this one alone...[/quote]

Didn't like the culture? Then why didn't she transfer to another school? Or is that just code for she didn't like college, period. If she's not cut out for college that's fine but then she needs to figure out how she's going to support herself. Maybe learn a trade or do something. Working an hourly job where they can reduce her hours is probably not a good long term option for her. What does she actually like to do besides rock climbing? Or can she make a career out of rock climbing? Maybe work at a climbing center, or do outdoor ed or something related to that. Does she have office skills? Can she do a coding boot camp or something like that? It's time to move beyond hourly retail work and make a long term plan for someone without a college degree. It seems like whether she pays $150 in rent is pretty minor compared to the long term play here, although it does sound like she's got a good deal going.[/quote]

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