Reply to Rent is Due: Am I being too hard on my daughter?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you are being too hard on her op. A regular landlord isn't interested in sob stories, but a regular landlord isn't going to ride her ass about where she works, how she spends her time, or the legitimacy of her hobbies. It's interesting that you say she could "easily walk to work" when you aren't the one doing it. She has reliable public transit that she is comfortable using. There is nothing wrong with that. Her hobbies sound great, rock climbing and guitar. Is she not allowed to enjoy wholesome activities? Would you prefer she spend her time and money on alcohol and looser boyfriends? 
You mention the dog, are you sure you aren't leveraging her, i.e. "Your dad and I are going out tonight, can you walk and feed the dog"? or "We're going away for the weekend, can you take care of the dog?" A regular landlord wouldn't make those requests either. 
As for her lack of common sense, you raised her. I never say this, but I will now, why didn't you do your job better? Is her lack of common sense because you didn't take the time and energy to talk and listen to her? Or is she simply making choices you wouldn't. It looks like that from where I sit. You also know full well why she doesn't drive. Why not address that if it bothers you? A regular landlord wouldn't care about that either. I'd suggest you kick her out if you don't want her there, or dial back on the rent and begin teaching her the skills she lacks, or addressing the reasons why she doesn't have them. Also be aware that from my perspective, you've described a nice young woman. Be very careful that her biggest problem in life isn't you and how you treat and view her.  
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A regular landlord would just evict her. Seriously, OP is being too harsh by expecting an adult to work and bring home $150 per month?! I brought in more than that working part time as a 16 year old...

A "nice" young woman wouldn't be living at home doing basically nothing at 21 years of age. Sorry, but hobbies don't count as doing something. Things like rock climbing cost money, which I'm guessing OP is funding. OP shouldn't enable any of this or she will be in this exact same situation a decade from now. OP, quit paying for these hobbies. Your daughter has food and shelter and that's more than enough. Give your daughter a little motivation for being self-sufficient.

My parents have friends with two "children" who are now in theirs 40s. Neither one holds down a steady job. Both are "artistic" so cannot be tied down to a 9-5 with normal pay. Thanks to enabling them, the parents are pushing 70 and cannot retire. They're both very nice but I think they are awful people for leaning so heavily on and draining their aging parents.

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