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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nip it in the bud now, and that means your DH's behavour.  My father was exactly like your DH, but with regards to academics. If it was an A, he'll ask if there was an A+. When I reached adulthood, I just snapped and cursed him out and he was all shock that I had that in me. Our relationship was never the same since and he felt afraid of me since. [/quote]

I cannot "nip it in the bud."  When I have told DH to cut it out, he doesn't listen to me and doesn't care what I say.  He feels he's doing the right thing and I am the one that's wrong.  I wouldn't be surprised if a similar thing happened in adulthood between DH and DS to be honest, and I don't know how to make DH see things any other way.  Do you feel love and affection for you father now, as an adult?  What was your mom like when you were young?[/quote]

My mom was the very stereotypical subservient boomer wife.  While she didn't play along with my dad's stuff, she definitely didn't defy him in front of me -- I don't know what was said behind closed doors and whether she told him to wind it down. Things are different now since I'm in my 30s, but I definitely feel that he's supressing a lot of his pent up emotions.

You said that he feels he's doing the right thing and you're in the wrong and you don't know how to make him see things your way.  Well that's because he has blinders on and is an intimidating figure to his children.  What if you relayed the message your son told you? Would that prove him wrong otherwise and actually see what he hasn't?  My dad acted like the alpha male in the family and he really needed to be put in his place. [/quote]

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